Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa beans, and all beans are a vegetable?
Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?
Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?
Why do you go “back and forth” to town if you really must go forth before you go back?
Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown?
Why can't you get a tan on your palms?
Why do dogs sniff other dog’s bottoms to say hello, why don’t they just bark in their face or something?
Why do companies offer you "free gifts?" Since when has a gift NOT been free?
Why is a square meal served on round plates?
Why is the 0 on a phone after 1 and not before 1?
Which way does a compass point in space?
Why are people allowed to put naked statues outside but why can't we run outside naked?
Why do all superheroes wear spandex?
If mars had earthquakes would they be called marsquakes?
Why did Mary own a little lamb?
If a missing person sees their picture on a milk carton that offers a reward, would they get the money?
Why can’t a baby cry while it’s inside its mother?
If the president were gay, would his husband be the first man?
Why are Pringles curved?
Why aren't safety pins as safe as they say they are?
If overalls are held up by the snaps at the top, then why do they have belt loops?
Why is it that its good to score under par in golf but its bad to be “under par” in any thing else?
Why do people say, "You can't have your cake and eat it too"? Why would someone get cake if they can't eat it?
Can bald men get lice??
How come popcorn isn't a vegetable?
Do movie producers still say lights, camera, and action when it is a dark scene?
Did Noah have woodpeckers on the ark? If he did, where did he keep them?
Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are both the same number of letters?
Why is snow white and ice clear? Aren't they just different forms of water?
Why do they put the names of football teams on baseball caps?
If I had my legs amputated, would I have to change my height and weight on my driver's license?
How come you pay an extra 25 cents to get something put on your hamburger but they don't take off the price if you get something taken off?
Can you get cornered in a round room?
If you don't pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed?
Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
Why is it that when babies are born they only weigh like 7 lbs yet the mom weighs 30 lbs more?
Is sign language the same in languages other than English?
Why is "number" abbreviated as "no"? When there is no "o" in number?
Why do they call the small candy bars the "fun sizes"? Wouldn't be more fun toeat a big one?
Who gets to keep the pennies in a wishing well?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
When a boy is named after his dad, he is called 'Junior,' but what do you call a girl that is named after her mother?
Can you cry under water?
Why do you DELETE something on the computer, but ERASE something on paper?
If the S.W.A.T team comes to your house and breaks down your door, do they replace it later?
Do stuttering people stutter when they're thinking to themselves?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
How come you can kill a deer and put it on your wall but it's illegal to keep them as a pet?
Are children who use sign language allowed to talk with their mouth full?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
Why do people say, "you've been working like a dog" when dogs just sit around all day?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Can you blow a balloon up under water?
Does it really count in court when an atheist is sworn in under oath using a Bible?
If you were born exactly on 12:00 midnight on December 31st – January 1st, which year would you say you were born in?
If marriage means you fell in love, does divorce mean you climbed out?
Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed?
When you see the weather report and it says "partly cloudy" and then the next day it says "partly sunny"; what’s the difference?
What happens when you say “hi” to your friend on an airplane who's name is Jack?
Funny Thoughts
When people say, "I’m so tired it's not even funny" or "my head hurts so much it's not even funny", why would it even be funny in the first place?
Do stairs go up or down?
If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit?
Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?
Can you make a candle out of your earwax?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?
Why does "lake" come first (Lake Michigan) and "river" come second (Mississippi River)?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
What would happen if: Everyone was to flush their toilet at the same time?
If you died on the International Dateline, and half of you were on 1 side and the other half on the other side, what day would you die?
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
USEFUL AT WORK.
1. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
2. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
3. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
4. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
5. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care.
6. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
7. What am I? Flypaper for freaks !?
8. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
9. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
10. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
11. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
12. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
13. No, my powers can only be used for good.
14. How about never? Is never good for you ?
15. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
16. You sound reasonable... Time to up my medication.
17. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
18. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
19. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
20. Who me? I just wander from room to room.
21. My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys!
22. It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.
23. At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.
24. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
25. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
26. Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
2. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
3. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
4. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
5. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care.
6. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
7. What am I? Flypaper for freaks !?
8. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
9. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
10. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
11. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
12. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
13. No, my powers can only be used for good.
14. How about never? Is never good for you ?
15. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
16. You sound reasonable... Time to up my medication.
17. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
18. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
19. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
20. Who me? I just wander from room to room.
21. My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys!
22. It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.
23. At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.
24. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
25. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
26. Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
Monday, December 18, 2006
GIFT
GIFT
There was a blind girl who hated herself just because she was blind.
She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her.
She said that if she could only see the world, she would marry her boyfriend.
One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her and then she saw everything, including her boyfriend.
Her boyfriend asked her," now that you can see the world, will you marry me?"
The girl was shocked when she saw that her boyfriend is blind too, and refused to marry
him.
Her boyfriend walked away in tears, and later wrote a letter to her Saying,
"Just take care of my eyes dear."
This is how human brain changes when our status changes. Only few remember what life
was before, and who's always been there even in the most painful situations.
"GIFT"
There was a blind girl who hated herself just because she was blind.
She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her.
She said that if she could only see the world, she would marry her boyfriend.
One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her and then she saw everything, including her boyfriend.
Her boyfriend asked her," now that you can see the world, will you marry me?"
The girl was shocked when she saw that her boyfriend is blind too, and refused to marry
him.
Her boyfriend walked away in tears, and later wrote a letter to her Saying,
"Just take care of my eyes dear."
This is how human brain changes when our status changes. Only few remember what life
was before, and who's always been there even in the most painful situations.
"GIFT"
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
MURPHY'S OTHER LAWS
Murphy's Other Laws
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them.
If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
The shin bone is a device for finding furniture.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them.
If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
The shin bone is a device for finding furniture.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
Bright future For This Chap. / Tooooo Good
First-grade teacher, Ms Neelam (Age 28) was having trouble with one of her students the teacher asked,"Boy. what is your problem?" Boy. answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too! "Ms Neelam had enough. She took Boy. to the principal's office. While Boy. waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms Neelam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. She agreed. Boy. was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreedto take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?" Boy.: "9".
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?" Boy.: "36".
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks at Ms Neelam and tells her, "I think Boy can go to the third-grade.
"Ms Neelam says to the principal, "I have some of my own questions. Can I ask him ?" The principal and Boy. both agree.Ms Neelam asks! ,
"What does a cow have four of that I have only two of? Boy., after a moment "Legs."
Ms Nee lam: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?" Boy.: "Pockets."
Ms Neelam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid? Boy.: Coconut
Ms Neelam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky? The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer,Boy. was taking charge. Boy.: Bubblegum
Ms Neelam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting downand a dog does on three legs? The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...Boy.: Shake hands
Ms Neelam: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?Boy.: Yep.
Ms Neelam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.Boy.: Tent
Ms Neelam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored.The best man always has me first.The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg. Boy.: Wedding Ring
Ms Neelam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blowme, you feel good.Boy.: Nose
Ms Neelam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with aquiver.Boy.: Arrow
Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement?Boy.: Firetruck
Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u dont get it u have to use ur hand. Boy.: Fork
Ms Neelam: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?Boy.: SURNAME
Ms Neelam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ?Boy.: HEART.
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher, "Send this Boy to IIM Ahmedabad, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!"
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?" Boy.: "9".
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?" Boy.: "36".
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks at Ms Neelam and tells her, "I think Boy can go to the third-grade.
"Ms Neelam says to the principal, "I have some of my own questions. Can I ask him ?" The principal and Boy. both agree.Ms Neelam asks! ,
"What does a cow have four of that I have only two of? Boy., after a moment "Legs."
Ms Nee lam: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?" Boy.: "Pockets."
Ms Neelam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid? Boy.: Coconut
Ms Neelam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky? The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer,Boy. was taking charge. Boy.: Bubblegum
Ms Neelam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting downand a dog does on three legs? The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...Boy.: Shake hands
Ms Neelam: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?Boy.: Yep.
Ms Neelam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.Boy.: Tent
Ms Neelam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored.The best man always has me first.The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg. Boy.: Wedding Ring
Ms Neelam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blowme, you feel good.Boy.: Nose
Ms Neelam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with aquiver.Boy.: Arrow
Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement?Boy.: Firetruck
Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u dont get it u have to use ur hand. Boy.: Fork
Ms Neelam: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?Boy.: SURNAME
Ms Neelam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ?Boy.: HEART.
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher, "Send this Boy to IIM Ahmedabad, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!"
Friday, December 01, 2006
EDUCATIVE MAIL FOR ALL WOMEN.
Gotta love this one!!!!!
A woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by aparticularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked her for acouple of dollars for dinner.
The woman took out her wallet, extracted ten dollarsand asked,
"If I give you this money, will you buy some wine with itinstead of dinner?
""No," I had to stop drinking years ago, the homeless woman replied.
"Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?" the woman asked.
"No," I don't waste time shopping, the homeless woman said."I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.
""Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?" the woman asked."
Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless woman."I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!
""Well," said the woman, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going t o take you out for dinner with my husband and myself tonight. The homeless Woman was astounded.
"Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting."The woman replied,
"That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments and wine."
A woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by aparticularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked her for acouple of dollars for dinner.
The woman took out her wallet, extracted ten dollarsand asked,
"If I give you this money, will you buy some wine with itinstead of dinner?
""No," I had to stop drinking years ago, the homeless woman replied.
"Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?" the woman asked.
"No," I don't waste time shopping, the homeless woman said."I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.
""Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?" the woman asked."
Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless woman."I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!
""Well," said the woman, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going t o take you out for dinner with my husband and myself tonight. The homeless Woman was astounded.
"Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting."The woman replied,
"That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments and wine."
GOOD OLD DAYS
Good old days!!!!!
When gulli-danda and kanche (marbles) were more popular than cricket..
When we always had friends to play aais-paais (I Spy),chhepan-chhepaiand pitthoo anytime .
When we desperately waited for 'yeh jo hai jindagi'..
When chitrahaar, vikram-baitaal, dada daadi ki kahaniyaan were sofulfilling .
When there was just one tv in every five houses and When bisleris were not sold in the trains and we were worrying if papas will get back into the train in time or not when they were getting downat stations to fill up the water bottle ..
When we were going to bed by 9.00 pm sharp except for the 'yeh jo haijindagi' day ..
When Holis & Diwalis meant mostly hand-made pakwaans and sweets and moms seeking our help while preparing them .
When Maths teachers were not worried of our mummys and papas while slapping /beating us ..
When we were exchanging comics and stamps and chacha-chaudaris and billus were our heroes ...
When we were in nanihaals every summer and loved flying kites and plucking and eating unripe mangoes and leechis ..
When one movie every Sunday evening on television was more than asked for and 'ek do teen chaar' and 'Rajni' inspired us .
When 50 paisa meant at least 10 toffees ...
When left over pages of the last years notebooks were used for rough work or even fair work .
When 'chelpark' and 'natraaj' were encouraged against 'reynolds and family' ..
When the first rain meant getting drenched and playing in water and mudand making 'kaagaj ki kishtis' ...
When there were no phones to tell friends that we will be at their homes at six in the evening .
When our parents always had 15 paise blue colored 'antardesis' and 5 paise machli wale stamps at home
When we remembered tens of jokes and were not finding 'ice-cream and papa' type jokes foolish enough to stop us from laughing ..
When we were not seeing patakhes on Diwalis and gulaals on Holis as air and noise polluting or allergic agents ...the list can be endless ..on the serious note I would like to summarise with .
When we were using our hearts more than our brains, even for scientifically brainy activities like 'thinking' and 'deciding' .
When we were crying and laughing more often, more openly and more sincerily .
When we were enjoying our present more than worrying about our future.When being emotional was not synonymous to being weak .
When sharing worries and happinesses didnt mean getting vulnerable to the listener .
When blacks and whites were the favourite colors instead of greys .
When journeys also were important and not just the destinations .
When life was a passenger's sleeper giving enough time and opportunityto enjoy the sceneries from its open and transparent glass windows instead of some superfast's second ac with its curtained, closed and dark windows ...
I really miss . do u?, if u do then please send this to all your friendsand loved ones.
When gulli-danda and kanche (marbles) were more popular than cricket..
When we always had friends to play aais-paais (I Spy),chhepan-chhepaiand pitthoo anytime .
When we desperately waited for 'yeh jo hai jindagi'..
When chitrahaar, vikram-baitaal, dada daadi ki kahaniyaan were sofulfilling .
When there was just one tv in every five houses and When bisleris were not sold in the trains and we were worrying if papas will get back into the train in time or not when they were getting downat stations to fill up the water bottle ..
When we were going to bed by 9.00 pm sharp except for the 'yeh jo haijindagi' day ..
When Holis & Diwalis meant mostly hand-made pakwaans and sweets and moms seeking our help while preparing them .
When Maths teachers were not worried of our mummys and papas while slapping /beating us ..
When we were exchanging comics and stamps and chacha-chaudaris and billus were our heroes ...
When we were in nanihaals every summer and loved flying kites and plucking and eating unripe mangoes and leechis ..
When one movie every Sunday evening on television was more than asked for and 'ek do teen chaar' and 'Rajni' inspired us .
When 50 paisa meant at least 10 toffees ...
When left over pages of the last years notebooks were used for rough work or even fair work .
When 'chelpark' and 'natraaj' were encouraged against 'reynolds and family' ..
When the first rain meant getting drenched and playing in water and mudand making 'kaagaj ki kishtis' ...
When there were no phones to tell friends that we will be at their homes at six in the evening .
When our parents always had 15 paise blue colored 'antardesis' and 5 paise machli wale stamps at home
When we remembered tens of jokes and were not finding 'ice-cream and papa' type jokes foolish enough to stop us from laughing ..
When we were not seeing patakhes on Diwalis and gulaals on Holis as air and noise polluting or allergic agents ...the list can be endless ..on the serious note I would like to summarise with .
When we were using our hearts more than our brains, even for scientifically brainy activities like 'thinking' and 'deciding' .
When we were crying and laughing more often, more openly and more sincerily .
When we were enjoying our present more than worrying about our future.When being emotional was not synonymous to being weak .
When sharing worries and happinesses didnt mean getting vulnerable to the listener .
When blacks and whites were the favourite colors instead of greys .
When journeys also were important and not just the destinations .
When life was a passenger's sleeper giving enough time and opportunityto enjoy the sceneries from its open and transparent glass windows instead of some superfast's second ac with its curtained, closed and dark windows ...
I really miss . do u?, if u do then please send this to all your friendsand loved ones.
Monday, November 27, 2006
HELP FIGHT CANCER {LET THE WORLD KNOW}
Please forward to all of the women in your lives .. Mothers, daughters, sisters, aunts, friends, etc.
In November, a rare kind of breast cancer was found. A lady developed a rash on her breast, similar to that of young mothers who are nursing. Because her mammogram had been clear,
the doctor treated her with antibiotics for infections. After 2 rounds, it continued to get worse, so her doctor sent her for another mammogram. This time it showed a mass.
A biopsy found a fast growing malignancy. Chemo was started in order to shrink the growth; then a mastectomy was performed; then a full round of Chemo; then radiation. After about 9 months of intense treatment, she was given a clean bill of health. She had one year of living each day to its fullest. Then the cancer returned to the liver area. She took 4 treatments and decided that she wanted quality of life, not the after effects of Chemo. She had 5 great months and she planned each detail of the final days. After a few days of needing morphine, she died. She left this message to be delivered to women everywhere:
Women, PLEASE be alert to anything that is not normal, and be persistent in getting help as soon as possible. Paget's Disease: This is a rare form of breast cancer, and is on the outside of
the breast, on the nipple and aureole It appeared as a rash, which later became a lesion with a crusty outer edge. I would not have ever suspected it to be breast cancer but it was. My nipple never seemed any different to me, but the rash bothered me, so I went to the doctor for that.
Sometimes, it itched and was sore, but other than that it didn't bother me. It was just ugly and a nuisance, and could not be cleared up with all the creams prescribed by my doctor and
dermatologist for the dermatitis on my eyes just prior to this outbreak. They seemed a
little concerned but did not warn me it could be cancerous.
Now, I suspect not many women out there know a lesion or rash on the nipple or aureole can
be breast cancer. (Mine started out as a single red pimple on the aureole. One of the biggest problems with Paget's disease of the nipple is that the symptoms appear to be harmless. It
is frequently thought to be a skin inflammation or infection, leading to unfortunate delays in
detection and care.)
What are the symptoms?
1. A persistent redness, oozing, and crusting of your nipple causing it to itch and burn
(As I stated, mine did not itch or burn much, and had no oozing I was aware of, but it did
have a crust along the outer edge on one side.)
2. A sore on your nipple that will not heal. (Mine was on the aureole area with a whitish thick looking area in center of nipple).
3. Usually only one nipple is effected. How is it diagnosed? Your doctor will do a physical exam and should suggest having a mammogram of both breasts, done immediately. Even though the redness, oozing and crusting closely resemble dermatitis (inflammation of the skin), your
doctor should suspect cancer if the sore is only on one breast. Your doctor should order a
biopsy of your sore to confirm what is going on.
This message should be taken seriously and passed on to as many of
your relatives and friends as possible; it could save someone's life.
My breast cancer has spread and metastasized to my bones after
receiving mega doses of chemotherapy, 28 treatments of radiation and
taking Tamaxofin. If this had been diagnosed as breast cancer in the beginning,perhaps
it would not have spread...
TO ALL READERS:
This is sad as women are not aware of Paget's disease. If, by passing this around on the e-mail, we can make others aware of it and its potential danger, we are helping women everywhere. Please, if you can, take a moment to forward this message to as many people as possible,
especially to your family and friends. It only takes a moment, yet the results could save a life.
In November, a rare kind of breast cancer was found. A lady developed a rash on her breast, similar to that of young mothers who are nursing. Because her mammogram had been clear,
the doctor treated her with antibiotics for infections. After 2 rounds, it continued to get worse, so her doctor sent her for another mammogram. This time it showed a mass.
A biopsy found a fast growing malignancy. Chemo was started in order to shrink the growth; then a mastectomy was performed; then a full round of Chemo; then radiation. After about 9 months of intense treatment, she was given a clean bill of health. She had one year of living each day to its fullest. Then the cancer returned to the liver area. She took 4 treatments and decided that she wanted quality of life, not the after effects of Chemo. She had 5 great months and she planned each detail of the final days. After a few days of needing morphine, she died. She left this message to be delivered to women everywhere:
Women, PLEASE be alert to anything that is not normal, and be persistent in getting help as soon as possible. Paget's Disease: This is a rare form of breast cancer, and is on the outside of
the breast, on the nipple and aureole It appeared as a rash, which later became a lesion with a crusty outer edge. I would not have ever suspected it to be breast cancer but it was. My nipple never seemed any different to me, but the rash bothered me, so I went to the doctor for that.
Sometimes, it itched and was sore, but other than that it didn't bother me. It was just ugly and a nuisance, and could not be cleared up with all the creams prescribed by my doctor and
dermatologist for the dermatitis on my eyes just prior to this outbreak. They seemed a
little concerned but did not warn me it could be cancerous.
Now, I suspect not many women out there know a lesion or rash on the nipple or aureole can
be breast cancer. (Mine started out as a single red pimple on the aureole. One of the biggest problems with Paget's disease of the nipple is that the symptoms appear to be harmless. It
is frequently thought to be a skin inflammation or infection, leading to unfortunate delays in
detection and care.)
What are the symptoms?
1. A persistent redness, oozing, and crusting of your nipple causing it to itch and burn
(As I stated, mine did not itch or burn much, and had no oozing I was aware of, but it did
have a crust along the outer edge on one side.)
2. A sore on your nipple that will not heal. (Mine was on the aureole area with a whitish thick looking area in center of nipple).
3. Usually only one nipple is effected. How is it diagnosed? Your doctor will do a physical exam and should suggest having a mammogram of both breasts, done immediately. Even though the redness, oozing and crusting closely resemble dermatitis (inflammation of the skin), your
doctor should suspect cancer if the sore is only on one breast. Your doctor should order a
biopsy of your sore to confirm what is going on.
This message should be taken seriously and passed on to as many of
your relatives and friends as possible; it could save someone's life.
My breast cancer has spread and metastasized to my bones after
receiving mega doses of chemotherapy, 28 treatments of radiation and
taking Tamaxofin. If this had been diagnosed as breast cancer in the beginning,perhaps
it would not have spread...
TO ALL READERS:
This is sad as women are not aware of Paget's disease. If, by passing this around on the e-mail, we can make others aware of it and its potential danger, we are helping women everywhere. Please, if you can, take a moment to forward this message to as many people as possible,
especially to your family and friends. It only takes a moment, yet the results could save a life.
OYE BALLE BALLE
Pakistani, Bangladeshi and OUR Sardar are in a bar one night having a beer.
The Pakistani drinks his beer and suddenly throws his glass in the air, pulls out a gun
and shoots the glass to pieces.
He says "In Islamabad our glasses are so cheap that we don't need to drink from the
same one twice."
The Bangladeshi [obviously impressed by this] drinks his beer, throws his glass into the
air, pulls out his gun and shoots the glass to pieces.
He says "In Dhaka we have so much sand to make the glasses that we don't need to drink
out of the same glass twice either."
OUR Sardar, cool as a cucumber, picks up his beer and drinks it, throws his glass into
the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the Pakistani and Bangladeshi.
He says "In India we have so many Pakistanis and Bangladeshi that we don't need to
drink with the same ones twice."
Balle Balle !!!!
The Pakistani drinks his beer and suddenly throws his glass in the air, pulls out a gun
and shoots the glass to pieces.
He says "In Islamabad our glasses are so cheap that we don't need to drink from the
same one twice."
The Bangladeshi [obviously impressed by this] drinks his beer, throws his glass into the
air, pulls out his gun and shoots the glass to pieces.
He says "In Dhaka we have so much sand to make the glasses that we don't need to drink
out of the same glass twice either."
OUR Sardar, cool as a cucumber, picks up his beer and drinks it, throws his glass into
the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the Pakistani and Bangladeshi.
He says "In India we have so many Pakistanis and Bangladeshi that we don't need to
drink with the same ones twice."
Balle Balle !!!!
Thursday, November 23, 2006
SMART OLDIE
An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car.
A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please. The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.
Don't Mess With Old Ladies
If you want to brighten someone's day, pass this on to someone you know.
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car.
A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please. The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.
Don't Mess With Old Ladies
If you want to brighten someone's day, pass this on to someone you know.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
THIS IS LIFE. A PRESENT. A true GEM.
"Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air.
You name them - work, family, health, friends and spirit and you're keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls family, health, friends and spirit - are made of glass.
If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life." How?
1. Don't undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others. It is because we are
different that each of us is special.
2. Don't set your goals by what other people deem important. Only you know what is best
for you.
3. Don't take for granted the things closest to your heart. Cling to them as you would to your
life, for without them, life is meaningless.
4. Don't let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future. By living
your life one day at a time, you live all the days of your life.
5. Don't give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the
moment you stop trying.
6. Don't be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect. It is this fragile thread that binds
us to each other, together.
7. Don't be afraid to encounter risks. It is by taking chances that we learn how to be
brave.
8. Don't shut love out of your life by saying it's impossible to find time. The quickest way to
receive love is to give; the fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly; and the best
way to keep love is to give it wings.
9. Don't run through life so fast that you forget not only where you've been, but also where
you are going.
10. Don't forget, a person's greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated.
11. Don't be afraid to learn. Knowledge is weightless, a treasure you can always carry easily
12. Don't use time or words carelessly. Neither can be retrieved.
Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way. Yesterday is History, Tomorrow is a Mystery and Today is a gift: That's why we call it " The Present."
You name them - work, family, health, friends and spirit and you're keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls family, health, friends and spirit - are made of glass.
If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life." How?
1. Don't undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others. It is because we are
different that each of us is special.
2. Don't set your goals by what other people deem important. Only you know what is best
for you.
3. Don't take for granted the things closest to your heart. Cling to them as you would to your
life, for without them, life is meaningless.
4. Don't let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future. By living
your life one day at a time, you live all the days of your life.
5. Don't give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the
moment you stop trying.
6. Don't be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect. It is this fragile thread that binds
us to each other, together.
7. Don't be afraid to encounter risks. It is by taking chances that we learn how to be
brave.
8. Don't shut love out of your life by saying it's impossible to find time. The quickest way to
receive love is to give; the fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly; and the best
way to keep love is to give it wings.
9. Don't run through life so fast that you forget not only where you've been, but also where
you are going.
10. Don't forget, a person's greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated.
11. Don't be afraid to learn. Knowledge is weightless, a treasure you can always carry easily
12. Don't use time or words carelessly. Neither can be retrieved.
Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way. Yesterday is History, Tomorrow is a Mystery and Today is a gift: That's why we call it " The Present."
TRUE, PLEASE READ AND BE CAREFULL.
Hi All, The below is true. This happens not only in other countries, it has also occurred in Malaysia, and neighboring countries. They just don'twish to publicize this scams. Read on and pass this to whomever you know or care for. This is a true story, it has been confirmed, the Medical Centre phone number at the end of this story is real. This guy went out on a Saturday night a few weeks ago to a party. He was having a good time and had acouple of beers and some girl seemed to like him & invited him to go to another party. He quickly agreed & decided to go along with her.She took him to a party in some apartment and they continued to drink,& even got involved with some drug (unknown). The next thing he knew,he woke up completely naked in a bathtub filled with ice. He was still feeling the effects of the drugs, but looked around to see he was alone.He looked down at his chest, which had CALL 000 or YOU'LL DIE" written on it with lipstick. He saw a phone was on a stand next to the tub so he Picked it up & dialled. He explained to the EMS operator what the situation was & that he didn't know where he was, what he took, or why he was really calling. She advised him to get out of the tub. He did,and he appeared normal, so she told him to check his back. He did, he found two 9 inch slits on his lower back. She told him to get back in to the tub immediately, and they sent a rescue team over. Apparently, after being examined, he found out more of what had happened. His kidneys were stolen. They were worth $10,000 each on the black market. Several guesses are in order: The Second party was a sham, the people involved had to be at least medical students & it was not just recreational drug he was given. Regardless, he is currently in the hospital on a life support, awaiting a spare kidney. The University of Sydney inconjunction with the Royal Prince Alfred hospital is conducting tissue research to match the victim with a donor. I wish to warn you about a new crime ring that is targeting business travellers. This ring is well organized and well funded, has very skilled personnel & is currently operating in most major cities around the world and recently very active in Sydney.The crime begins when a business traveller goes to a lounge for a drink at the end of the work day. A person in the bar walks up as they sit alone and offers to buy them a drink. The last thing the traveler remembers until they wake up in a hotel room bathtub, their body submerged to their neck in ice, is sipping that drink. There is a note taped to the wall instructing them not to move and to call 000. A phone is on the small table next to the bathtub for them to call.The business traveller calls 000 who have been quite familiar with this crime. The business traveller is instructed by the 000 operator to very slowly and carefully reach behind them and feel there is a tube protruding from the back. The business traveller finds the tube andanswers "YES". The 000 operator tells them to remain still, having already sent paramedics to help. The Operator knows that both of the traveller's kidneys had been harvested. This is not a scam or out of science fiction novel. It is real. It is documented and confirmable. If you travel or someone close to you travels, please be careful. Sadly, this is very true. My friend's husband is a Sydney EMT and they have received alerts regarding this crime ring. It is to be taken very seriously. The daughter of a friend of a fire-fighter had this happen To her. Skilled doctors are performingthese crimes! (which, by the way have been highly noted in the Brisbanearea). Additionally, the military has received alerts regarding this. I REALLY WANT AS MANY PEOPLE TO SEE THIS AS POSSIBLE SO PLEASE BOUNCE THIS TO WHOEVER YOU CAN.
Michele ShaferDML/Lab AdministrationMedical Manager Research & Development99 Missenden RD , Camperdown, Sydney 2000Tel:(029)5156111;Fax:(029)4621505
Michele ShaferDML/Lab AdministrationMedical Manager Research & Development99 Missenden RD , Camperdown, Sydney 2000Tel:(029)5156111;Fax:(029)4621505
THE PERFECT RELATIONSHIP
For a perfect relationship...
1. It's important to have a woman, who helps at home, cooks good, cleans up and has a job.
2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh & she is cute.
3. It's important to have a woman whom you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.
4. It's important to have a woman who is good in romance and who likes to be with you.
5. It's VERY, VERY, VERY important that these four women never meet each other !
1. It's important to have a woman, who helps at home, cooks good, cleans up and has a job.
2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh & she is cute.
3. It's important to have a woman whom you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.
4. It's important to have a woman who is good in romance and who likes to be with you.
5. It's VERY, VERY, VERY important that these four women never meet each other !
Be Carefull GUYS
After a long night of making love to his new girlfriend, Fred notices a photo of a man on her bedside table. At first, he really didn't give it much thought; she had never mentioned it so why should he. But after a month or so he begins to stress about it; even imagining the photo
is staring at him doing the deed It was causing him so much anxiety So he finally decides ask about it. "Is this your ex-husband?" he nervously asks. "No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him. "Another boyfriend, then?" he continues. "No, not at all," she says, nibbling away at his ear. "Is it your dad or your brother?" he inquires, hoping to be reassured.
"No, no, no!!!" she answers. "Well, who in the hell is he, then?" he demands. "That's me before the surgery"
is staring at him doing the deed It was causing him so much anxiety So he finally decides ask about it. "Is this your ex-husband?" he nervously asks. "No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him. "Another boyfriend, then?" he continues. "No, not at all," she says, nibbling away at his ear. "Is it your dad or your brother?" he inquires, hoping to be reassured.
"No, no, no!!!" she answers. "Well, who in the hell is he, then?" he demands. "That's me before the surgery"
WE SURE DO HAVE A VERY VERY BRIGHT FUTURE
Question and the Answer given by Candidates oh sorry they are IAS Officers now.
Q.How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack! (UPSC Topper)
Q.If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
A. No time at all it is already built. (UPSC 23 Rank Opted for IFS)
Q.If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples andthree oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
A. Very large hands.(Good one) (UPSC 11 Rank Opted for IPS)
Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with onehand. (UPSC Rank 14 Opted for IES)
Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
A. No Probs , He sleeps at night. (UPSC IAS Rank 98)
Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
A. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that. (UPSC IAS Rank 2)
Q. What looks like half apple ?
A : The other half. (UPSC - IAS Topper)
Q. What can you never eat for breakfast ?
A : Dinner.
Q. What happened when wheel was invented ?
A : It caused a revolution.
Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?
A : Liquid (UPSC 33Rank )
Interviewer said "I shall either ask you ten easy questions or one really difficult question.
Think well before you make up your mind!" The boy thought for a while and said, "my choice is one really difficult question.""Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice! Now tell me this."What comes first, Day or Night?" The boy was jolted into reality as his admission depends on the correctness of his answer, but he thought for a while and said, "It's the DAY sir!"" How" the interviewer asked, "Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult question!""
Technical Skill is the mastery of complexity, while Creativity is the master of simplicity."
Q.How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack! (UPSC Topper)
Q.If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
A. No time at all it is already built. (UPSC 23 Rank Opted for IFS)
Q.If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples andthree oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
A. Very large hands.(Good one) (UPSC 11 Rank Opted for IPS)
Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with onehand. (UPSC Rank 14 Opted for IES)
Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
A. No Probs , He sleeps at night. (UPSC IAS Rank 98)
Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
A. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that. (UPSC IAS Rank 2)
Q. What looks like half apple ?
A : The other half. (UPSC - IAS Topper)
Q. What can you never eat for breakfast ?
A : Dinner.
Q. What happened when wheel was invented ?
A : It caused a revolution.
Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?
A : Liquid (UPSC 33Rank )
Interviewer said "I shall either ask you ten easy questions or one really difficult question.
Think well before you make up your mind!" The boy thought for a while and said, "my choice is one really difficult question.""Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice! Now tell me this."What comes first, Day or Night?" The boy was jolted into reality as his admission depends on the correctness of his answer, but he thought for a while and said, "It's the DAY sir!"" How" the interviewer asked, "Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult question!""
Technical Skill is the mastery of complexity, while Creativity is the master of simplicity."
SERVICE
At one time in my life, I thought I had a handle on the meaning ofthe word "service."
"The act of doing things for other people".
Then I heard the terms:
Internal Revenue Service Postal Service Telephone Service Civil ServiceCity/County Public Service Customer Service Service Stations And I became confused about the word "service." This is not what Ithought "service" meant.
Then today, I overheard two farmers talking and one of them mentioned that he was having a bull over to "service" a few of his cows It all came into perspective.
Now I understand what all those "service" agencies are doing to us!.
"The act of doing things for other people".
Then I heard the terms:
Internal Revenue Service Postal Service Telephone Service Civil ServiceCity/County Public Service Customer Service Service Stations And I became confused about the word "service." This is not what Ithought "service" meant.
Then today, I overheard two farmers talking and one of them mentioned that he was having a bull over to "service" a few of his cows It all came into perspective.
Now I understand what all those "service" agencies are doing to us!.
SMILE ALL YOU LADIES
and u guys cringe !!
He didn't like the curryAnd he didn't like my cake.
He said my biscuits were too hard...Not like his mother used to make.
I didn't prepare the coffee right
He didn't like the stew,
I didn't mend his socksThe way his mother used to do.
I pondered for an answerI was looking for a clue.
Isn't there anything I could doTo match his mothers shoe Then I smiled as I saw lightOne thing I could definitely doI turned around and slapped him tight...
Like his mother used to !!!!!
He didn't like the curryAnd he didn't like my cake.
He said my biscuits were too hard...Not like his mother used to make.
I didn't prepare the coffee right
He didn't like the stew,
I didn't mend his socksThe way his mother used to do.
I pondered for an answerI was looking for a clue.
Isn't there anything I could doTo match his mothers shoe Then I smiled as I saw lightOne thing I could definitely doI turned around and slapped him tight...
Like his mother used to !!!!!
Saturday, November 18, 2006
FAMILY
F A M I L Y
I ran into a stranger as he passed by,"Oh excuse me please" was my reply.
He said, "Please excuse me too; I wasn't watching for you."
We were very polite, this stranger and I. We went on our way and we said goodbye.
But at home a different story is told, How we treat our loved ones, young and old.
Later that day, cooking the evening meal, My son stood beside me very still.
When I turned, I nearly knocked him down."Move out of the way," I said with a frown.
He walked away, his little heart broken. I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken.
While I lay awake in bed, God's still small voice came to me and said,
"While dealing with a stranger,common courtesy you use,but the family you love, you seem to abuse.
Go and look on the kitchen floor, You'll find some flowers there by the door.
Those are the flowers he brought for you. He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue.
He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise, you never saw the tears that filled his little eyes."
By this time, I felt very small, And now my tears began to fall.
I quietly went and knelt by his bed;"Wake up, little one, wake up," I said.
"Are these the flowers you picked for me?"He smiled, "
I found 'em, out by the tree.
I picked 'em because they're pretty like you.I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue."
I said, "Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today;
I shouldn't have yelled at you that way."He said, "Oh, Mom, that's okay.I love you anyway."
I said, "Son, I love you too,and I do like the flowers, especially the blue."
FAMILYAre you aware that if we died tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days. But the family we left behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.
Do you know what the word FAMILY means?FAMILY = (F)ATHER (A)ND (M)OTHER (I) (L)OVE (Y)OU
I ran into a stranger as he passed by,"Oh excuse me please" was my reply.
He said, "Please excuse me too; I wasn't watching for you."
We were very polite, this stranger and I. We went on our way and we said goodbye.
But at home a different story is told, How we treat our loved ones, young and old.
Later that day, cooking the evening meal, My son stood beside me very still.
When I turned, I nearly knocked him down."Move out of the way," I said with a frown.
He walked away, his little heart broken. I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken.
While I lay awake in bed, God's still small voice came to me and said,
"While dealing with a stranger,common courtesy you use,but the family you love, you seem to abuse.
Go and look on the kitchen floor, You'll find some flowers there by the door.
Those are the flowers he brought for you. He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue.
He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise, you never saw the tears that filled his little eyes."
By this time, I felt very small, And now my tears began to fall.
I quietly went and knelt by his bed;"Wake up, little one, wake up," I said.
"Are these the flowers you picked for me?"He smiled, "
I found 'em, out by the tree.
I picked 'em because they're pretty like you.I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue."
I said, "Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today;
I shouldn't have yelled at you that way."He said, "Oh, Mom, that's okay.I love you anyway."
I said, "Son, I love you too,and I do like the flowers, especially the blue."
FAMILYAre you aware that if we died tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days. But the family we left behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.
Do you know what the word FAMILY means?FAMILY = (F)ATHER (A)ND (M)OTHER (I) (L)OVE (Y)OU
Thursday, November 16, 2006
A Divine experience only with CITI BANK
Hilarious !!
Banking --customer service! This is hilarious!!! . A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00, now somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to Citibank, Here is the exchange:
Family Member: "I am calling to tell you she died in January."
Citibank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."
Family Member: "Maybe, you should turn it over to collections."
Citibank: "Since it is two months past due, it already has been."
Family Member : So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?"
Citibank: "Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!"
Family Member: "Do you think God will be mad at her?" (I really liked>>> this part!!!!)
Citibank: "Excuse me?"
Family Member: "Did you just get what I was telling you - the part about her being dead?"
Citibank: "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor." (Duh!)
Supervisor gets on the phone:Family Member: "I'm calling to tell you, she died in January."
Citibank: "The account was never closed and late fees and charges still apply." (This must be a phrase taught by the bank!)
Family Member: "You mean you want to collect from her estate?"
Citibank: (Stammer) "Are you her lawyer?"
Family Member: "No, I'm her great nephew."
(Lawyer info given)
Citibank: "Could you fax us a certificate of death?"
Family Member: "Sure." (Fax number is given) After they get the fax:
Citibank: "Our system just isn't setup for death. I don't know what more I can do to help."
Family Member: "Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. I don't think she will care."
Citibank: "Well, the late fees and charges do still apply." (What is wrong with these people?!?)>
Family Member: "Would you like her new billing address?"
Citibank: "That might help."
Family Member: "Odessa Memorial Cemetery , Highway 129, Plot Number 69."
Citibank: "Sir, that's a cemetery!"
Family Member: "What do you do with dead people on your planet?
(Priceless!!)
Banking --customer service! This is hilarious!!! . A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00, now somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to Citibank, Here is the exchange:
Family Member: "I am calling to tell you she died in January."
Citibank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."
Family Member: "Maybe, you should turn it over to collections."
Citibank: "Since it is two months past due, it already has been."
Family Member : So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?"
Citibank: "Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!"
Family Member: "Do you think God will be mad at her?" (I really liked>>> this part!!!!)
Citibank: "Excuse me?"
Family Member: "Did you just get what I was telling you - the part about her being dead?"
Citibank: "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor." (Duh!)
Supervisor gets on the phone:Family Member: "I'm calling to tell you, she died in January."
Citibank: "The account was never closed and late fees and charges still apply." (This must be a phrase taught by the bank!)
Family Member: "You mean you want to collect from her estate?"
Citibank: (Stammer) "Are you her lawyer?"
Family Member: "No, I'm her great nephew."
(Lawyer info given)
Citibank: "Could you fax us a certificate of death?"
Family Member: "Sure." (Fax number is given) After they get the fax:
Citibank: "Our system just isn't setup for death. I don't know what more I can do to help."
Family Member: "Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. I don't think she will care."
Citibank: "Well, the late fees and charges do still apply." (What is wrong with these people?!?)>
Family Member: "Would you like her new billing address?"
Citibank: "That might help."
Family Member: "Odessa Memorial Cemetery , Highway 129, Plot Number 69."
Citibank: "Sir, that's a cemetery!"
Family Member: "What do you do with dead people on your planet?
(Priceless!!)
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Four facts Of Life {True}
Intresting trivia about F1 Car.
à F1 car is made up of 80,000 components, if it were assembled 99.9% correctly, it would still start the race with 80 things wrong!
à When an F1 driver hits the brakes on his car he experiences retardation or deceleration comparable to a regular car driving through a BRICK wall at 300kmph!!!
à F1 car can go from 0 to 160 kph AND back to 0 in FOUR seconds!!!!!!!
à F1 car engines last only for about 2 hours of racing mostly before blowing up on the other hand we expect our engines to last us for a decent 20yrs on an average and they quite faithfully DO....that's the extent to which the engines r pushed to perform...
à An average F1 driver looses about 4kgs of weight after just one race due to the prolonged exposure to high G forces and temperatures for little over an hour (Yeah that's right!!!)
à At 550kg a F1 car is less than half the weight of a Mini.
à To give you an idea of just how important aerodynamic design and added down force can be, small planes can take off at slower speeds than F1 cars travel on the track.
à Without aerodynamic down force, high-performance racing cars have sufficient power to produce wheel spin and loss of control at 160 kph. They usually race at over 300 kph.
à In a street course race like the Monaco grand prix, the down force provides enough suction to lift manhole covers. Before the race all of the manhole covers on the streets have to be welded down to prevent this from happening!
à The refuelers used in F1 can supply 12 liters of fuel per second. This means it would take just 4 seconds to fill the tank of an average 50 liter family car. They use the same refueling rigs used on US military helicopters today.
à TOP F1 pit crews can refuel and change tyres in around 3 seconds. It took me 8 sec to read above point à During the race the tyres lose weight! Each tyre loses about 0.5 kg in weight due to wear.
à Normal tyres last 60 000 - 100 000 km. Racing tyres are designed to last 90 - 120 km.
à A dry-weather F1 tyre reaches peak operating performance (best grip) when tread temperature is between 900C and 1200C.(Water boils boils at 100C remember) At top speed, F1 tyres rotate 50 times a second.
And that's not Magic…. Its only the Power of Human Imagination…
à When an F1 driver hits the brakes on his car he experiences retardation or deceleration comparable to a regular car driving through a BRICK wall at 300kmph!!!
à F1 car can go from 0 to 160 kph AND back to 0 in FOUR seconds!!!!!!!
à F1 car engines last only for about 2 hours of racing mostly before blowing up on the other hand we expect our engines to last us for a decent 20yrs on an average and they quite faithfully DO....that's the extent to which the engines r pushed to perform...
à An average F1 driver looses about 4kgs of weight after just one race due to the prolonged exposure to high G forces and temperatures for little over an hour (Yeah that's right!!!)
à At 550kg a F1 car is less than half the weight of a Mini.
à To give you an idea of just how important aerodynamic design and added down force can be, small planes can take off at slower speeds than F1 cars travel on the track.
à Without aerodynamic down force, high-performance racing cars have sufficient power to produce wheel spin and loss of control at 160 kph. They usually race at over 300 kph.
à In a street course race like the Monaco grand prix, the down force provides enough suction to lift manhole covers. Before the race all of the manhole covers on the streets have to be welded down to prevent this from happening!
à The refuelers used in F1 can supply 12 liters of fuel per second. This means it would take just 4 seconds to fill the tank of an average 50 liter family car. They use the same refueling rigs used on US military helicopters today.
à TOP F1 pit crews can refuel and change tyres in around 3 seconds. It took me 8 sec to read above point à During the race the tyres lose weight! Each tyre loses about 0.5 kg in weight due to wear.
à Normal tyres last 60 000 - 100 000 km. Racing tyres are designed to last 90 - 120 km.
à A dry-weather F1 tyre reaches peak operating performance (best grip) when tread temperature is between 900C and 1200C.(Water boils boils at 100C remember) At top speed, F1 tyres rotate 50 times a second.
And that's not Magic…. Its only the Power of Human Imagination…
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Its just Fair.
The phone bill was exceptionally high and the man ofthe house called a family meeting.
Dad: People this is unacceptable. You have to limitthe use of the phone. I do not use this phone, I use the one at the office.
Mum: Same here, I hardly use this home telephone as I use my work telephone
Son: Me too, I never use the home phone. I always use my company mobile
Maid: So what is the problem? We all use our work telephones.
Dad: People this is unacceptable. You have to limitthe use of the phone. I do not use this phone, I use the one at the office.
Mum: Same here, I hardly use this home telephone as I use my work telephone
Son: Me too, I never use the home phone. I always use my company mobile
Maid: So what is the problem? We all use our work telephones.
Laughter good for all (Santa Banta)
Santa asks: Who r u?Wife: How dare u forget ur wife?Santa: Nasha har gam ko bhula deta hai
Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto, Banta asks: Y r uremoving awheel from ur auto?Santa: Can't u read 'Parking for two wheelers only
Santa: Doctor, ye phulon ki mala kis ke liye?Doctor: Ye mera pehla operation hai, success hua to mere liye, nahi to tumhare liye
Santa: Doc saab, mein Chashma laga ke pad to sakoonga?Doc: Haan, bilkul.Santa: To phir theek hai doc saab varna Anpad aadmi ki zindagi bhi koi zindagi hai.
Santa: Raat film main ek chudail kabhi mere aage, khabhi mere peechheghoomrahi thi...Jeeto: Koun si film thi ?Santa: Apni shaadi ki movie thi !
Santa joined NASA. After one month the Americans had to change thenamefromNASA to SATYANASA
Santa apni girl friend ko I Luv U kehta hai aur gir jata hai.Gal: Yeh kya kar rahe ho?Santa: I'm falling in love
Banta: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho?Santa: Suicide karne ke liyeBanta: To phir ubalne kui kya zaroorat hai?Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaaye
Santa: Today is Sunday & I wanna njoy, so I bought 3 movie tickets Jeeto: Why 3?Santa: For you and your parents
Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken.Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.
Lady Doc: Tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade ho kar auraton ko kyonghoorteho?Santa: Ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai: Auraton ko dekhne ka samay9am-11am
A man to Santa: Aao ji chess kheleinSanta: Tu chal mein sports shoes pehen kar aaya.
At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand,oh!Santa: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?
In an interview,Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr.....Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...
Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night. He gotirritated...drank poison & said,Ab kaato saalon, sab maroge!
Captain of Military: Naujawanon aage bado Santa aage nahin bada Captain: Tum aage kyun nahin bade?Santa: Apne kaha 9 jawanon aage bado, mein 10ve number pe tha
Banta: Yaar teri wife ki maut ka bara afsos hua, vaise hua kya tha?Sant: Goli lagi thi mathe main.Banta: Waheguru ji ka shukar kar ke aankh bach gayi.
Santa apni khoobsurat Bibi k saath car mein baitha. Driver ne sheeshasetkiya. Santa gusse mein bola, meri bibi ko dekhkta hai, piche baith, car mein chalaoonga!
Santa: tainu Sunny Deol da phone no pata hai...?Banta: Nahin, kyon ki hoya?Santa: Yaaar asi Nalka patauna si.
Banta: U cheated me.Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is allIndiaRadio!
Sadhu: Bachcha teri biwi ko chuddail chipak gayee hai. Upaaye karvaao.Banta: Upayaye? Baba, agar do behenein gale mil rahi hain to is mein harz hi kya hai ?
Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?Santa: Tipu's skeleton.Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?Santa: That was Tipu's skeleton when he was child
Napoleon: There is no such word as 'Impossible' in my dictionary.Santa: To dictionary dekh kar kharidni thi ...!
Santa: Agar tumhe kuch ho gaya to mein Pagal ho jaaunga.Jeeto: Doosri shaadi to nahin karogey?Santa: Pagal ka kya hai, kuch bhi kar sakta hai
Banta: Yeh AUTOMATICALLY kya hota hai?Santa: Oye tujhe yeh bhi nahin pata, Jab auto mein koi ganji ladki jarahiho to use kehte hain AUTO-ME-TAKLI
Santa was riding on a horse. He jumped the red light & a cop whistles.Santa lifts the tail of horse & says: 'Le Karle Number Note'
Banta: Oye, tu to Doctor ke paas jaane waala tha, kya hua?Santa: Yaar kal jaaonga, aaj thodi tabiyat kharab hai.
Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto, Banta asks: Y r uremoving awheel from ur auto?Santa: Can't u read 'Parking for two wheelers only
Santa: Doctor, ye phulon ki mala kis ke liye?Doctor: Ye mera pehla operation hai, success hua to mere liye, nahi to tumhare liye
Santa: Doc saab, mein Chashma laga ke pad to sakoonga?Doc: Haan, bilkul.Santa: To phir theek hai doc saab varna Anpad aadmi ki zindagi bhi koi zindagi hai.
Santa: Raat film main ek chudail kabhi mere aage, khabhi mere peechheghoomrahi thi...Jeeto: Koun si film thi ?Santa: Apni shaadi ki movie thi !
Santa joined NASA. After one month the Americans had to change thenamefromNASA to SATYANASA
Santa apni girl friend ko I Luv U kehta hai aur gir jata hai.Gal: Yeh kya kar rahe ho?Santa: I'm falling in love
Banta: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho?Santa: Suicide karne ke liyeBanta: To phir ubalne kui kya zaroorat hai?Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaaye
Santa: Today is Sunday & I wanna njoy, so I bought 3 movie tickets Jeeto: Why 3?Santa: For you and your parents
Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken.Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.
Lady Doc: Tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade ho kar auraton ko kyonghoorteho?Santa: Ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai: Auraton ko dekhne ka samay9am-11am
A man to Santa: Aao ji chess kheleinSanta: Tu chal mein sports shoes pehen kar aaya.
At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand,oh!Santa: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?
In an interview,Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr.....Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...
Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night. He gotirritated...drank poison & said,Ab kaato saalon, sab maroge!
Captain of Military: Naujawanon aage bado Santa aage nahin bada Captain: Tum aage kyun nahin bade?Santa: Apne kaha 9 jawanon aage bado, mein 10ve number pe tha
Banta: Yaar teri wife ki maut ka bara afsos hua, vaise hua kya tha?Sant: Goli lagi thi mathe main.Banta: Waheguru ji ka shukar kar ke aankh bach gayi.
Santa apni khoobsurat Bibi k saath car mein baitha. Driver ne sheeshasetkiya. Santa gusse mein bola, meri bibi ko dekhkta hai, piche baith, car mein chalaoonga!
Santa: tainu Sunny Deol da phone no pata hai...?Banta: Nahin, kyon ki hoya?Santa: Yaaar asi Nalka patauna si.
Banta: U cheated me.Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is allIndiaRadio!
Sadhu: Bachcha teri biwi ko chuddail chipak gayee hai. Upaaye karvaao.Banta: Upayaye? Baba, agar do behenein gale mil rahi hain to is mein harz hi kya hai ?
Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?Santa: Tipu's skeleton.Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?Santa: That was Tipu's skeleton when he was child
Napoleon: There is no such word as 'Impossible' in my dictionary.Santa: To dictionary dekh kar kharidni thi ...!
Santa: Agar tumhe kuch ho gaya to mein Pagal ho jaaunga.Jeeto: Doosri shaadi to nahin karogey?Santa: Pagal ka kya hai, kuch bhi kar sakta hai
Banta: Yeh AUTOMATICALLY kya hota hai?Santa: Oye tujhe yeh bhi nahin pata, Jab auto mein koi ganji ladki jarahiho to use kehte hain AUTO-ME-TAKLI
Santa was riding on a horse. He jumped the red light & a cop whistles.Santa lifts the tail of horse & says: 'Le Karle Number Note'
Banta: Oye, tu to Doctor ke paas jaane waala tha, kya hua?Santa: Yaar kal jaaonga, aaj thodi tabiyat kharab hai.
Smile u Have Nothing to Loose.
Similarities BRA and BAR Both are drinking joints Both have restriction time on closing and opening timings. Both are flashy. When open, both drive men mad
Why women wear undergarments with flowers printed on them? To pay tribute to men who got buried under them
Why was the sardar arrested in the political rally? Because he saw a lady journalist going with a badge on her chest which said PRESS' and he did
There are 3 Male and 1 Female pencils in a box. The Female pencil got pregnant!! Which Male pencil is responsible? THE ONE WITHOUT THE RUBBER
Three Roosters: normal, retarded and a gay. Normal: cock-a-doodle-dooo !!! Retarded: doodle-cock-a-dooo !!! Gay: any-cock-will dooo!!!
Yesterday news - A nun jogging at Jogger' Park was raped by 4 guys. Today's News: - Nearly 100 nuns found jogging at the park.
Income Tax office asked a Prostitute why she puts her occupation as CHICKEN FARMER. She replied: I RAISED 500 COCKS LAST YEAR.!!
Secretary saw her boss' pant's zip open, she tells him, "Sir your Garage door is open." Boss : Did U see my FERRARI? Secretary : I saw a small scooter with 2 punctured wheels.
SMILE YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOOSE
Why women wear undergarments with flowers printed on them? To pay tribute to men who got buried under them
Why was the sardar arrested in the political rally? Because he saw a lady journalist going with a badge on her chest which said PRESS' and he did
There are 3 Male and 1 Female pencils in a box. The Female pencil got pregnant!! Which Male pencil is responsible? THE ONE WITHOUT THE RUBBER
Three Roosters: normal, retarded and a gay. Normal: cock-a-doodle-dooo !!! Retarded: doodle-cock-a-dooo !!! Gay: any-cock-will dooo!!!
Yesterday news - A nun jogging at Jogger' Park was raped by 4 guys. Today's News: - Nearly 100 nuns found jogging at the park.
Income Tax office asked a Prostitute why she puts her occupation as CHICKEN FARMER. She replied: I RAISED 500 COCKS LAST YEAR.!!
Secretary saw her boss' pant's zip open, she tells him, "Sir your Garage door is open." Boss : Did U see my FERRARI? Secretary : I saw a small scooter with 2 punctured wheels.
SMILE YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOOSE
Love & Marriage
*A student asks a teacher, "What is love?"The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the wheatfield and choose the biggest wheat and come back.But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn backto pick."The student went to the field, go thru first row, he saw one big wheat,but he wonders....may be there is a bigger one later.Then he saw another bigger one... but may be there is an even biggerone waiting for him.Later, when he finished more than half of the wheat field, he start torealise that the wheat is not as big as the previous one he saw, heknow he has missed the biggest one, and he regretted.So, he ended up went back to the teacher with empty hand. The teachertold him, "...this is love... you keep looking for a better one, butwhen later you realise, you have already miss the person...."**"What is marriage then?" the student asked.The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the cornfield and choose the biggest corn and come back. But the rule is: youcan go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."The student went to the corn field, this time he is careful not torepeat the previous mistake, when he reach the middle of the field, hehas picked one medium corn that he feel satisfy, and come back to theteacher.The teacher told him, "this time you bring back a corn.... you look forone that is just nice, and you have faith and believe this is the bestone you get.... this is marriage."*
Fun And Jokes with Morals..: Always speak the truth
Fun And Jokes with Morals..: Always speak the truth
Once upon a time there lived a king.The king had a beautiful daughter,the princess!But there was a problem.Everything the princess touched would melt.No matter what; metal, wood, plastic- anything she touched would melt.Because of this, men were afraid of her.Nobody would dare marry her.The king despaired.What could he do to help his daughter.He consulted his wizards and magicians.One wizard told the king, "If your daughter touches one thing that doesnot melt inher hands, she will be cured." The king was overjoyed.The next day, he held a competition.Any man that could bring his daughter an object that would not melt wouldmarry her and inherit the king's wealth.Three young princes took up the challenge.The first prince brought a very hard alloy of titanium.But alas, once the princess touched it, it melted.The prince went away sadly.The second prince brought a huge diamond, thinking that diamond is thehardest substance in the world and surely, it would not melt.But alas, once the princess touched it, it melted.He too was sent away disappointed.The third prince approached.He told the princess, "Put your hand in my pocket and feel what is inthere."The princess did as she was told, though she turned red.She felt something hard.She held it in her hand.And it did not melt!!!The king was overjoyed.Everybody in the kingdom was overjoyed.And the third prince married the princess and they both lived happily everafter.But The Question Is :What was the object in the prince's pants?
They were Britannia Little Hearts of course! HAHAHA HAHE HE HE...They melt in your mouth, not in your hand.What were U thinking dirty mind.......????
Once upon a time there lived a king.The king had a beautiful daughter,the princess!But there was a problem.Everything the princess touched would melt.No matter what; metal, wood, plastic- anything she touched would melt.Because of this, men were afraid of her.Nobody would dare marry her.The king despaired.What could he do to help his daughter.He consulted his wizards and magicians.One wizard told the king, "If your daughter touches one thing that doesnot melt inher hands, she will be cured." The king was overjoyed.The next day, he held a competition.Any man that could bring his daughter an object that would not melt wouldmarry her and inherit the king's wealth.Three young princes took up the challenge.The first prince brought a very hard alloy of titanium.But alas, once the princess touched it, it melted.The prince went away sadly.The second prince brought a huge diamond, thinking that diamond is thehardest substance in the world and surely, it would not melt.But alas, once the princess touched it, it melted.He too was sent away disappointed.The third prince approached.He told the princess, "Put your hand in my pocket and feel what is inthere."The princess did as she was told, though she turned red.She felt something hard.She held it in her hand.And it did not melt!!!The king was overjoyed.Everybody in the kingdom was overjoyed.And the third prince married the princess and they both lived happily everafter.But The Question Is :What was the object in the prince's pants?
They were Britannia Little Hearts of course! HAHAHA HAHE HE HE...They melt in your mouth, not in your hand.What were U thinking dirty mind.......????
Why Hang saddam??
Hi, Everyone wants to hang Saddam, for his crimes against Humanity, but is hanging him going
to be of any use?? will the world gain any thing by it ? I feel it would make him a hero, and will
bring more bloodshed to this world, a better option would be to put him behind bars and let the
world forget him, let us not make him a hero, let us make an example of him. and now let us go get Osama.
to be of any use?? will the world gain any thing by it ? I feel it would make him a hero, and will
bring more bloodshed to this world, a better option would be to put him behind bars and let the
world forget him, let us not make him a hero, let us make an example of him. and now let us go get Osama.
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